The LDS Guide to Dating & Marriage, Part 15: Conclusion

[Previous posts in the series:  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14]

A few closing thoughts as we put aside dating and marriage for now.

The Baroness and I are friends with a married couple...a couple who probably won't be married too much longer...

It's the second marriage for both, and the relationship is a little...fractured to say the least. Examples:
The wife is going to school and asks her husband for help on her homework.  His response?  "Do it yourself!"

She mentions an old condo back in her hometown where she used to live, and wonders if they can use some of the money from his job to help pay it off, his response: "What? That's not my responsibility. You take care of it!"

When asked if she should continue going to school at all, his response: "Of course...then after the divorce you'll have something to do..."

The husband here is not necessarily abusive, only seems to have little interest in creating a 'relationship'.  One might wonder why he got married at all.  Things might be tolerable for a little while, but you know this marriage (barring a change of attitude) is destined to have a very short life span.  (Generally speaking, treating a divorce as inevitable essentially makes it inevitable...)

My thoughts on the matter: the wife is a strong woman and she'll survive a divorce. As far as the husband goes, I can't help think that someday he'll come to realize what he missed in his relationship with his former wife--he'll realize the great potential for happiness that marriage can bring, assuming you're willing to work (a little bit) towards creating an actual partnership. It may be years before it happens, but I think one day this guy will come to miss the benefits having someone close by to love can bring.

Loving someone is a privilege, I've discovered. One of the many stewardships that Heavenly Father has given us is the blessing to love some closely. Not just generally--like helping someone on the side of the road with a flat tire--but intimately, and throughout the remainder of your life. Giving of ourselves freely, and then finding that the whole becomes greater than the two parts. That's the blessing love and marriage brings to all of us, and it's a great privilege to have the opportunity to create an eternal marriage that's based on respect, admiration, and common goals.  Sadly, due to circumstance and attitude, many will not have that opportunity, yet the developing the capacity to love and serve others is an essential preparatory step for the day when/if that opportunity arises.

I am not an expert on building 'good' marriages--the Baroness and I (married three years this month) are still beginners from a time standpoint--but both of us understand the key to successful marriages can be found in gospel principles.  From the Proclamation on the Family:

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

Now the time has come for us to put theory into practice.  We're planning on making it to the finish line...hope to see everyone there!