Conference Aftermath I: In Praise of Converts...

[Series note:  The 'Conference Aftermath' essays are thoughts that were inspired by--but not necessarily based on--talks from LDS General Conference over the weekend.  Sometimes the source talk will be obvious, sometimes it won't, because the train of thought was triggered indirectly...or perhaps just my mind wandering during the session...]

When I was baptized at the age of 16 in Idaho Falls, Idaho, my family took a 'don't support--don't oppose' attitude for the most part...although all of them did attend my baptismal service.  While my new life as a Latter-Day Saint wasn't nearly as difficult from a family perspective as many of the other converts with whom I've been in contact, there are inherent difficulties that arise from being the only member in your family that are perhaps unavoidable.  For the most part, we avoided the major disagreements based on religion within the family, but had some minor ones.  Oftentimes, it was hard not to feel a little bit alone--attending church by yourself every week, having to coexist with people who had different standards than you without either compromising your own, or criticizing others.  There was also the knowledge that said problems would only increase when it came time to go on a mission, and get married in the temple.

One day, in my high school band class during a break in playing, I was conversing with the girl next to me, who said, out of the blue: "I wish I was a convert..."  At that time, feeling a little more down than usual (and a bit of a bad attitude, too), my response was--somewhat sneeringly--"Why?  You want to go to church by yourself every week, and have numerous family problems too?"

Her reply: "My family has been LDS for at least five generations.  All my family are members, all my friends are members, almost every person I come into contact with is a member.  I'm 'active' in the Church...but I have absolutely no idea if I really have a testimony, or if I'm just being carried along by everyone else around me."

This was an interesting thought that, during my recent dour mood about how miserable life as a convert was, I hadn't really considered.  It's true that being the only member in my family brought a certain amount of loneliness and hardship...but every time I stepped through the doors of the chapel to attend Church meetings, I knew why I was there.  Indeed, that I was there because I wanted to be, not because my family happened to drag me there every week.  It was obvious upon reflection that this was a sublimely important blessing--one that many of my peers in Idaho Falls (60% LDS or thereabouts) did not have.

As it happened, this girl had been accepted into BYU, but quite deliberately chose a college far away from the 'Mormon hangout' universities in Utah and Idaho for just this reason--to get away from the 'all-day-every-day' Church atmosphere and find out who she really was.  (Ironically, I deliberately chose BYU for the exact opposite reason--I wanted an opportunity to be immersed in the Church atmosphere for once in my life...)

There were quite a few similar experiences later in my life during my mission.  Being a missionary was harder for my family to accept than just the baptism--one family member quite directly wished me "health...but not success" before I left.  In a way the loneliness returned--my family would still write, but had no interest in discussing anything spiritual, thus I had no one to actually share my mission experience with.  Yet, everyday I was there in the MTC and in the mission field, I knew why I was there.  I came to know many other elders who did not--some who had gone on a mission simply because their family expected them to, and that once they were away from the family, really had to struggle to understand "Why am I here? And what am I doing?".  Happily, most of the elders found their answer eventually and served successful missions, but--again--it was no small blessing that I was able to avoid much of that struggling from the beginning.

The Church is built on converts--has been since the beginning.  Looking at the statistical analysis reported every year during April conference, the convert to baptized 8-year-old ratio is always at least 4 to 1.  And yet, some people don't seem to know how to treat converts.  Some girls won't date them.  Some bishops don't trust them with any callings of significance.   Some members don't understand the loneliness many of them (us) feel.  Some don't understand the difficulty things like missions and temple marriages can cause in a non-member family.  Some seem to think converts are more likely to live unrighteously than multi-generational members--whereas I think it's the opposite.  (I remember overhearing one girl describing the guy she was dating--"Yeah, he's a good guy.  His dad's a stake president...."  Um, okay...are you marrying his dad?)

Many converts do not make it for very long after they are baptized, it is true...but those that do are better members, simply because it takes more effort to be a good member.  The biggest problem facing the Church in Utah (and Idaho) is the complacency of some of the members who have coasted along in the Church simply due to the inertia.  (Some even coast through their missions--even though that should theoretically be impossible...)  It's easy to be a C+ member in Utah, those that participate outwardly in Church 'activity' and avoid the big sins (mostly), yet have no true testimony, no true passion for the commandments or to their neighbors, no true 'soul' in the Church.  You really can't be a C+ member as a convert though...you're either a good member or you fall out entirely.

I've known many native Chinese missionaries who gave up much to serve the Lord, and many others afterwards who have diligently been 'pioneers' in their own countries and in their own families.  I've known many converts who trials upon joining the Church make me feel guilty for ever saying my own experiences since being baptized was ever 'difficult'...

So--like Elder Eyring on Sunday--let's give credit to converts, the foundation on which the Church was based at its inception, and the main force driving it into the future today...  Let's look with understanding at the challenges they face, and also at their inherent strengths in living and supporting the gospel today.  There may have been a time where I may have wished to have been born into a member family, but no longer...I'm happy with who I am and where I grew up, as "The Baroness" (baptized in 1999) is within her family as well.  It is a bold and daring thing to be baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ...and worthy of respect and admiration.